Home » Lifehacking » Shyness and Matching Values

Lately I was reflecting on the fact that I used to consider myself a very shy person and that now I have overcome this negative characteristic. However, I have also come to realise that sometimes we feel a bit ‘shy’ due to the people we are with. I now believe that this does not reflect shyness but naturally feeling uncomfortable because the other people have different values than ours. Far from being something negative, it is something positive that a person can realise what he stands for. To illustrate this point consider a polite guy who finds himself in a group of loud and foul mouthed ‘friends’ and starts feeling uncool because he is not being given much attention in the group. The problem here is not that the guy is shy or uncool but that there is a clash of values. The important thing then is for this guy to realise that these people have different lifestyles which are not in line with what he wants, and must be strong enough to stop going out with them if need be. This is not to say that he should cut all ties with them, but he must find a group with whom he feels comfortable with and in which he can express himself easily and freely.

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