Home » Lifehacking » Changing behaviour through changing beliefs

The way we behave is due to our beliefs about ourselves. Let’s take a look at how we develop these beliefs and how we can change negative behaviours through analysing our past and working on changing our beliefs.

Basically the concept is that when we are growing up we start to observe things around us and pass through various stages, the most important of which in my opinion is the 0-7 years stage which is the Imprint period where we are constantly observing everything that happens around us and forming a number of rules about all things in life.

Obviously the imprints in our mind at this stage are very much influenced by our family as most of the input we get is from them. After this stage we go into the Modeling period (age 7-14) where we start taking stock of what we know and create heros based on our previous experience. I believe that in this phase we try to find heros in music stars, tv stars or other persons, always based on our previous life experience and the feelings it has left in us.

The third stage is the Socialisation period (14-21) during which we open up to more influence through regular contact with our group of friends. This stage is also very important as we start moving out from the family circle and into the real life through interaction with others and trying new experiences. The last stage is the Business persona stage (21-35) where we make the step into the working world and usually undergo considerable changes also in this phase as we adjust to our new realities. Therefore all these stages are what forms our current way of feeling about ourselves and behaving with others.

Now if we want to change something in ourselves which we are not happy about, first of all we must realise that we are what we believe we are, i.e. whether you believe you CAN or you CAN’T do something, you are right! Our beliefs are what limit our potential. Thus the way to change something in yourself is as following:

1. Define the behaviour you want to change (write it down on a piece of paper) e.g. I don’t know how to make people laugh
2. Reword that behaviour into a belief e.g. I am not funny
3. Look back into the past and try to identify specific events which have instilled this belief in you e.g. Making a joke in front of the whole class and everybody made fun of you
Realise that these events are making you believe that you are not funny and don’t know how to make people laugh, thus if you rationalise the events and deal with them then you will have a clean slate on which to form new beliefs, which will in turn lead you to change your behaviour.

That’s it, the main concept therefore as I said in the beginning is that we are what we believe we are, so if we change what we believe then we will change ourselves and our behaviour.

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